"Becoming The Bull"...Atreyu

"Grab the bull by the horns the old addage goes.
Nobody tells you where to go from here.
Seems like fate's pulling you.
Decisions have to be made.
The the best path is the hardest earned.

Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.
Trying to keep a level head.
In the most unsettling of times.
Today I become the bull.

There is so much at stake.
I stumble, I lose my place.
Pride and arrogance surrounded by sin.
Destiny takes its hold.
Fight it or let it go.
But I choose how today will end..."

Tuesday morning at work might as well have been a Monday. For the past week or so, I’ve been using various computers around the office because mine was on the fritz and finally blew out. I had become accustomed to the rather annoying routine of logging in, locating all the files needed, getting the applications needed and feeling rather off – since working from different desks. Tuesday was no exception, except for the fact that I had a VM advising that my computer was ready. Suh-weet! Except that I couldn’t get a hold of the person, so meanwhile, I was to sit at the desk I was going to use that day and try to carry on, arg. The problem was that the computer I was using somehow wouldn’t allow me to locate the applications needed and the client’s email box (separate from my personal email) wasn’t to be found anywhere. Annoying because really, I have my routine and this was throwing me off. But the most annoying part was the email from my back up here at work.

My Back Up has covered me maybe 3 or so times. I don’t want to explain everything because in the end it doesn’t matter. But she’s messed up a couple of times and not the mess up, when you aren’t sure what you are doing and guess or the simple errors that are over looked, by accident. But the mess up when she changes the rules for my client (which was obviously brought to the attention of the other team members, it wasn’t cool) and also, messing up passwords, getting locked out and re-assigning passwords. I basically have 2 passwords for the email. Again, details aren’t needed but when I finally got my email to work on Tuesday, I saw one from my Back Up saying again that she changed the password, which irritated me already. Seriously, how hard is it to enter a password!? But this time, she changed the password to T’s name, are you kidding me!?

This wouldn’t be a big deal, had I not had discussed with her in the past the ups and downs w/T and she wasn’t so OCD that she asked me (and to this day asks me) everyday how T is. Seriously, it is what it is. Also, the fact that there have been a thousand other things here at work that has occurred that has lead me to ignore her daily texts, her silly emails and trying to avoid her for lunch. Albeit, she is probably one of the nicest people, seriously. She goes above and beyond for people and she really is a thoughtful person. But the lack of listening skills, asking the same question not twice but three times in a matter of 8 minutes (no joke) and the drama that is caused (work related) around her, it was though everything that I passed off and got over was exploding at that minute.

But just as every thing does, the day got better – after a fiasco of getting the computer (finally), being busy after missing almost half the day to not having a computer and I eventually got over the password, even if me and everyone else agreed, it was for the drama and to cause a stir. I can’t give her the satisfaction that it really matters. (I just hate that when people purposely want to be antagonistic).

After working a long day, I left, purchased some beer and watched TV about the losers and some Netflix. A bad day always gets better, right…(knock on wood).